It had been on my mind the last few days that, in the thick of my own turmoil, it was time to write a more vulnerable email – if for nothing, showing you that the life of a “yogi” is also rife with challenges. When I left my high-level government job almost 4 years ago, I was on the search for authenticity and my own potential. I’ve literally seen how I’ve come “into alignment” with my true, higher self (through my aura live imaging!), but the “potential” is definitely where the struggle-bus is currently parked. So please excuse me if this email is a little raw: it’s either the BOLD Wise Woman time of month OR because I haven’t slept well in the last few days. (Therefore, also excuse the profanity - it's rare but definitely my energy today.)

Life is freaking HARD, there’s no way around it. Whether you have plenty of money or don’t, it doesn’t matter. It’s still hard. On my recent trip to Kenya, the lovely Maasai Mamas (very) eagerly trying to sell their goods at the gate kept pleading with me, almost relentlesslly, “Mama, wewe ni Mama. Unajua shida ya wamamas. Ununue kitu; utusaidie.” The slang Swahili was simply noting that I, being a Mama knew the struggles of the Mamas. This is especially true given that I had also resided in Kenya and lived among Maasais in particular, which they knew through our conversation. Now, of course, I bought a couple of things, though I really didn’t want for anything at that particular time, but not without telling them that sadly, even though I am blessed to live in another part of the world where they think money grows on trees, I also have struggles, problems. Truth is, we all have problems, they’re just different. Despite how we appeared to come from worlds apart, they got it.

Maybe this is where I should tell you that my Love’s nickname for me is “cabacita loca” – mostly because my brain is just NON-FUCKING-STOP, and, might I safely say in front of friends, borderline delusional at times. I’m also dealing with the crazy fluctuating hormonal rollercoaster that most women my age are (learning about Women’s hormonal-lunar cycling, the 11 moon centers, and kundalini yoga are freaking amazing with this by the way), adding to the cray-cray. I’m a single mother to an amazing teen who’s just gained “Adulthood” status and college identification yet still has SO much to learn. I’m a homeowner with more unfinished (needed) projects that certainly contribute to my anxious sleep issues. I’m over a thousand miles away from my family, where troubles never seem as big or scary. AND as if that isn’t enough, hey, I gave up my 6-figure salary with great benefits (goodbye, root chakra) to “find my purpose”. Damn. Courageous? Cowardly? No judgements. I’m on my journey, that’s for sure.

So let’s be real. Life isn’t always what it seems.

For most people, you’d certainly know that I am FULL of genuine love and authenticity. I am one of the few people I know with an eternal calm that is almost unshakable. I’m 99% of the time quite level-headed. I’m often analytical and even methodical, though I’ve learned to balance that with more intuition (AWEmazing, btw). You’d likely look at me and wonder “How does she do that?”. I’ve had a top-level Executive Director tell me how amazing I am in a crisis. I’ve even had people tell me that, in times of crisis, they channel their inner “Jess”. I FREAKING LOVE THAT! I am SO delighted to know that I can be of service to others SIMPLY by being ME! What a joy that is!

But I certainly do NOT have it all together. My daily yoga practice is one of the major and critical components of my day that help bring me down to earth, ground and center me in my existence while also opening me up for greater clarity from the higher realm. I shower each morning both because my bed-head is gnarly but also because it helps me cleanse my energy and find more focus. (For a more technical explanation, from an ayurvedic lens, it is helping to bring the energies down into Earth and Fire, Kapha and Pitta, to bring balance to my high Air or Vata energy. High Vata energy can bring in anxiety, overwhelm, space-headedness, and of course TONS of vision). I religiously apply a certain oil to, at a minimum, the soles of my feet for additional grounding. I wear shoes or warm socks whenever I can handle it. I drink warm drinks frequently. These are a few ayurvedic tips for helping me successfully ground my energy.

I honestly don’t know where I would be, mentally physically emotionally or otherwise, if it weren’t for the yogic sciences. I would be a FREAKING MESS. Heck, even with yoga I still am a mess at times! Haah! As one of my students told me this week, “Life is hard. But Yoga Helps.” Yes, AB-SO-FUCKING-LUTELY! Just in the last couple of weeks, I’ve been really feeling some massive hormonal and heart disruptions after the travel, time change, and some additional life stress. Not surprisingly, each time I turned to my mat knowing the practice would bring some harmony and I was right! Didn’t feel like doing it in those moments especially, but so glad I did!

And back to the “potential” struggle bus… Well, perhaps we’ll come back to that another day. How will I get you to read my emails if I tell you it all now? ;)

The weather is changing. More Vata in the environment means more grounding needed for you (or extra for me since I already have too much). Time for warm drinks, fuzzy socks, soups, root veggies, AND YOUR DAILY PRACTICE!

Did I get your attention? Great! Just so you know, I’m not always this crazy, but I do love you. Thank you for tuning in. Where would I be without you? And if you haven’t started your yoga journey, need help learning how to manage your crazy, or just want to stop the madness in your mind, come see us. Despite—or perhaps because of—my “cabacita loca,” I’m quite adept at what I do, and I’d love to help you thrive in your whatever life is throwing YOUR way.

Warmest wishes and oodles of gratitude,

xoxo

Jess

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